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It was damn near as big as my condo in New York and certainly more opulent, and the view of the Chicago River and Lake Michigan was spectacular. Unfortunately the weather was not any better. It was Chicago in the winter after all – and that meant cold and snow. As I watched the snowy streets far below, I vowed to end up in a place that never required me to even own a snow shovel.The last couple of days had been hectic as I replaced my Burns' New York driver's license - an ordeal that thankfully I would not have repeat for a few years, if ever; met with Grace's painter/decorator Kristine; took possession of my new bed; and made a local charity happy with the donation of Robert Burns' clothing and his practically new but ungodly uncomfortable living and dining room furniture.Kristine was maybe mid-thirties, tall and slim with raven hair and mischievous dark eyes, and a marvel with a color palette. She quickly picked up on my tastes in colors and furnishings, promising to have the. As I lay there, face down, I could sense his huge body hulking over me. Once again, I was motionless. Lying there, I couldn't understand what I had done so terribly wrong to deserve this fate. It was like a nightmare... being held hostage in my own home by a dog!Eventually, as before, he decided to do more sniffing. Standing behind me, I could feel his cold nose running up the back of my legs, stopping at the lower portion of the crack of my butt.Trying to think rationally of how to handle this and get out of it alive, I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I let him get this sniffing out of his system he would tire of it and go away. It was the only plan I could come up. I continued lying there as quietly and motionless as possible. Duke continued sniffing.Finally, after an eternity, he withdrew his nose from my crotch. I thought I was home free. But when two massive paws came down with all their weight on my shoulder blades, the level of my fear doubled. I couldn't understand why.
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